I dreamt that I was French-kissing D and oh boy, I fell into a deep sleep after that cause it’s a really good kiss. On the other hand, I realised I NEVER dreamt about T before. I am so glad it didn’t happen.
"You lost the will to commit, didn’t you?"
“Because of you.”
I can’t stand it when you stare into my eyes. I can’t look at you straight.
I can be his lover. But he can never be mine. The colder farewells were hesitant but it was during the hang outs that we did whatever we want; where all the laughter and affection were. He’s always asking me to look for a boyfriend but he knows he will never happen. He asked me what type of guy do I want. That really set me thinking: I want a guy who’s funny but also someone who can appreciate the silence with me. He must also be someone who’s emotionally stronger than me, someone who doesn’t complain and whine about petty things. I want to feel like a girl. ‘It’s a pretty hard one.’ he said, ‘I would get you and __ together if he weren’t for his religion.’
Today he looked for me in the band room. Pretty much surprised because 1. He wasn’t supposed to appear for band. 2 . He seldom looks for me. We talked and shared moments. Sincere, funny, quiet. It was all good. He took my feet and placed it on his lap. Tried to scare me and picked me up and swung me around. The laughter and thoughts are the best moment of the week.